1.2 Every Star Has a Story

Have you ever wished you could be in the position of a porn star?

When we admire the lifestyle of porn stars, believing there’s some great value to pictures and videos of them, or wishing that we could be in their position, we don't realize what we’re not seeing. We’re not seeing the childhood trauma and betrayals that people featured in porn have experienced. We’re not seeing the shame which leads the women to seek their self-worth in feeling sexually desired by men who don’t care about them. We’re not seeing the deep insecurities which lead men to seek their self-worth by using women as disposable objects. We’re not seeing the human trafficking and exploitation of vulnerable people that this industry depends upon. We’re not seeing the loneliness that this promiscuous lifestyle perpetuates for people, because there is never any deep connection between sexual partners. We’re not seeing the suffering that comes from artificially pushing the human body to extremes, like bodily tears, rampant STDs, or abortions. We’re not seeing how they abuse drugs and alcohol just to numb the guilt and shame they feel before, during, and after scenes are filmed. We’re not seeing how much of the pleasure is pretended, suffering is hidden, or how video-editing makes the end product a totally exaggerated version of what actually happened.

We should feel compassion for the people involved in the production of pornography, and keep a safe distance so we don’t get sucked into it, too.

Questions for Reflection

Ask yourself:

  1. What were the attitudes about sex and sexual feelings that I’ve learned from porn?

  2. Do I know how to give up porn if I decided to? How would I do it? How do I know if I would be successful or not, and how hard it would be?

  3. If it’s not so easy for me to give up porn, then what is the story of how I became hooked on it? When did I first encounter it, and how old was I?

  4. Could this be it a way that I escape certain unwanted feelings and experiences? If so, what were the experiences which led to my bonding with that behavior as an automatic go-to?